Tuesday, January 9, 2007

The Aquarium Theory of Big Shoes

The following is the first report from our science group, the Committee for the Promulgation of Scientifically Baseless Theories. The report briefly outlines a theory posed by my brother, who attempted to correlate the difference in height between himself and his friend with whether their moms bought their shoes a size too big or just right.

Theory: Children will grow into their shoes, as a goldfish will grow into its tank.

Corrollaries: 5'2" mothers can create 6'3" sons if she buys big shoes for them. If a parent wishes to stunt the growth of their child, the parent should buy the child small shoes.

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